


Thinking On Your Feet

by Reyn



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Monsters, Suspense, humor?, more like witch doctor Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-17
Updated: 2013-05-17
Packaged: 2017-12-12 03:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/806668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reyn/pseuds/Reyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is perfectly capable of saving his own ass.</p><p> </p><p>  <i>“Are you the Witch Doctor of Beacon Hills??” the urgency in the monster’s voice nearly doubled at having to repeat itself.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“Uhm…” Stiles licked his lips and managed to relax slightly. “That’s a stupid name, and I’m still mad that Deaton left it with me, but…yes?”</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking On Your Feet

“What?” Stiles peeked an eye open, sure he hadn’t heard right.

The claws hovered inches over his head and he flinched back.

“Are you the Witch Doctor of Beacon Hills??” the urgency in the monster’s voice nearly doubled at having to repeat itself.

“Uhm…” Stiles licked his lips and managed to relax slightly. “That’s a stupid name, and I’m still mad that Deaton left it with me, but…yes?”

The overly large sigh and sudden slumping startled him so bad that Stiles really couldn’t help the belated scream that left his mouth.

“I need your help.”

Stiles jumped as gnarled hands clamped down on his shoulders.

“Excuse me? You need my—?” He drew back as much as the grip would allow. “You stalked me, ran my jeep off the road, chased me down, scared the living  _daylights_ out of me so you could ask for help?! Why can’t any of you creatures of the night ask for shit normally, man! Look up my phone number! Approach me in a public place in a nonthreatening manner! I think you just shaved twenty years off my life.”

The look Stiles got was a confused one, because clearly the concept of not being scary was beyond a magical creature’s comprehension.

Whatever. This conversation needed to move forward. “Look, what do you want?”

His attacker seemed relieved. “I need your help to win the affections of the one I love.”

Stiles’ neck craned forward in disbelief. “You’re serious?”

“I am.”

Letting out an explosive breath, Stiles shook his head. “I can’t.”

In a flash, the hold on his shoulders was painful and he was being shaken back and forth. “You must!”

“No!” The shaking didn’t stop. “NO! I _can’t_!” Stiles twisted his way out of his jacket. “There are no spells or — or potions or anything that can make someone fall in love with you. In lust, yes. Obsession, yes. But trust me when I say obsessive thinking doesn’t mean love.”

His jacket was torn in half. “Then bestow your wisdom upon me!”

“My — Dude, I can’t even get the person I like to look _twice_ at me! What makes you think I can even begin to dish out any type of advice to something like you?”

The angered roar vibrated through the air. “Then you are _useless_ to me!”

Stiles stumbled and fell back just in time to avoid having his head bashed in. “Wait wait wait!” he pleaded, scooting backwards and doing his best to ignore the way his life was trying to flash before his eyes. “I lied! There’s a thing! A chant! I can give you an incantation!”

The monster’s fist planted into the ground beside him. “TELL ME!” it demanded.

“Oh God.” Stiles’ body was trembling with fear and his limbs felt weak. “Okay. Okay, you need to repeat this to the woman…or man…or…whatever it is that’s rocking your boat.” He forced himself to look up at meet the creature’s eyes. “It’s ‘Oo, ee…’”

There was a moment of silence and Stiles’ brow rose.

“Oo, ee,” the monster finally repeated.

Nodding in satisfaction, Stiles continued. “Oo, ee. Oo, ah, ah…”

“Oo, ee. Oo, ah, ah…”

“Ting. Tang. Walla walla. Bing bang.”

Beady eyes darted to the side as the words were committed to memory. “Oo, ee. Oo, ah, ah. Ting. Tang. Walla walla. Bing bang.” Its head swiveled back to Stiles, its teeth worrisomely close to his face. “Thank you.”

And with that the creature ran off.

Relief flooded through his system so strongly that tears prickled at the corner of Stiles’ eyes. He vaguely wondered if it was even remotely safe for his heart to be pounding this hard against his rib cage.

“ _Stiles!_ ” Distant footsteps could be heard rushing in his direction. “ _Stiles!!_ ”

Forcibly pulling himself back together, Stiles rolled onto his side to push himself up. He needed to have a chat about his cavalry’s timing.

**Author's Note:**

> Alvin and the Chipmunks randomly invaded my Pandora station. I have no regrets.
> 
> Tumblr: old-sterek-feels


End file.
